Chaos. It's all chaos.
This is a Harry Potter slander podcast.
When you're a wizard, it's all about the drama. Oh, sorry -- trauma.

“Harry then did something that was both very brave and very stupid.”
― Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“Dumbledore's definitely a bottom.”
― The Restricted Section, random episode

"This is the best moment of my podcast life. . . . You can laminate that."
​― Adal Rifai, comedian and podcaster
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Drunk Teacher Count:

Hagrid: 5
McGonagall: 1
Trelawney: ???

as of mid-Goblet of Fire
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Your host, Christina 💛 ​
​Christina is a Hufflepuff, writer, publicist, outdoors enthusiast, cat mom, and generally okay human being. She graduated from Old Dominion University with a degree in English linguistics, and encourages you to read up on the Linguistic Facts of Life. Christina spends her free time hiking, cooking, gardening, doing Zumba, porch drinking, and reading and writing with her cats, Penny and Dante, in their Richmond, VA, home.​ 
Good Boy Andrew 💙
Andrew does not exist on social media but he loves podcasts and especially the Restricted Section. He has a degree in political science and works, sure, but his heart is all Harry Potter all the time.
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"My gender identity is bog witch" Haley 💙
​Meet Not-Your-Host Haley. Haley has a lot of strong feelings about the literary merits of genre fiction, environmental responsibility, dogs, and not a whole lot else. She has lived most of her life in Virginia save for a miserable three-year stint in Alabama, where a school bus driver once told her she would go to hell for celebrating Halloween. Haley enjoys cooking, writing, sketching, making weird noises, and chilling by the James River (when it’s not too full of poop).
Topless centaur Brooke 💙
Brooke studied English and Theater at JMU before spending two years traveling New Zealand and the US. She has a passion for National Parks, and considers books to be the perfect camping and travel companion. Aside from her husband, Michael, of course. They don't own a TV because they're freaking weird which leaves Brooke plenty of time for reading.
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Stop Taking Notes, Grace 💙
​Grace should be quite relatable to you, as much of her Restricted Section experience is spent enraptured by her fellow podcasters’ occasional bouts of mischief, wild fan theories, and truly unparalleled HP recall. Looking forward to listening along with you and yelling out a couple random things each episode!
"We're not talking about the movie" Mary-Peyton 💚
Mary-Peyton was born and grew up in RVA, and she graduated from JMU in 2009 with degrees in English and psychology. She has worked in bookstores, libraries, and as a freelance editor and writer. Mary-Peyton likes fantasy, gritty southern noir, magical realism, creative nonfiction, short stories — and “just fiction in general.”
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Tolkien About Mary Clay​ 💚
Meet Mary Clay! Yes BOTH NAMES, and if that's too hard for you, just call her MC. MC is not only a Restricted Section regular -- she hosts her own podcast, That's What I'm Tolkien About. We rely on MC for her wild theories and her defense of Dumbledore.
Puff Puff Pass to Lelia 💛
Lelia (LEE-luh) is the newest, smallest, and most adorable member of our gang! When she's not nerding out with The Restricted Section, she can be found nerding out with her husband and cats.